I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
