then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
