i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
