hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
