Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dear god my vagina.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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