whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
