I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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