Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
