There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
