So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
