...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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