I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
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There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
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we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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