I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
