That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
