Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Drake has all the answers
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
