I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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