im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
