But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
