So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
