very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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