Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
