im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
...so i touched it.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
honey bunches of taint.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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