So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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