I'm so fucking centered right now
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
