Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
