The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
