shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
