so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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