Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.

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(636): View more from Missouri

It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...

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(805): View more from California

I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"

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(305): View more from Florida

He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it

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