I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
BRING THE BAGELS
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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