Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party