so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
