uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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