So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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