Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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