dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
