I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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