and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
