So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
