You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
