i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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