I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
