and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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