She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
