How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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