He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
