you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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