I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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