Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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