what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
What a dumb baby whore.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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