Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
