You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
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coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
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You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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