Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
