Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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