please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
