Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
