her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.