also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it