They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.