Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
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ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
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I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave