I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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