Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
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We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
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Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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