FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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